I am reprinting this blog post from Andy over at People Powered due to the wicked satire and yet underlying hopeful message.
Give up: You’re too stupid.
This blog has been temporarily taken over by the Ministry of Propaganda to make an important announcement:
You are entirely powerless to change anything.
You are not individually created, deeply imaginative beings capable of finding solutions for yourselves, so stop trying. After much consultation with people who are more important than you, we have a far better understanding of any given issue. It is therefore pointless for you to research anything yourself: you cannot possibly understand it. Mainstream media can provide all your information. remain scared. Do not get involved in change.
You are not capable of developing your own localised low-cost solutions to environmental problems. If you want to care for the environment then you must buy products designed by the industry because they know a lot more than you. Riding a bike shows that you are different: invest your savings in a hybrid car so that we can keep the motor industry alive. Don’t get ideas about building your own beautiful house for less than it costs to buy a new car: buy an industry made eco-house for twice the cost of a normal home and take out a 30 year mortgage to cover it. Going ‘off grid’ is too difficult. Remember: you are not an expert, you are not creative. Buy more.
‘Living simply‘ means returning to the dark ages. Community is overrated. It is very important that you keep looking for more, bigger, better. Following desires implanted in you by marketers is freedom. Things that are free are of no value. Do not enjoy the sunset outside. Go and buy a plasma TV so you can watch films of sunsets, and get an even bigger one next year. It is important to keep up with your neighbours. Where you live is boring: go to exotic places for your holidays: this is the way to fulfilment. Do not develop meaningful relationships with friends over home-cooked food: go to expensive restaurants to be seen so that your social status is increased. And drive there. You can’t help the environment anyway, so stop trying. Loneliness is normal. Normal is good.
Big Business will look after you -as long as you do as you are told. Stay scared and buy things you don’t need. Accept the decisions of those in authority without question because they know much more than you. Do not think independently: you may decide to be different. Being different is difficult. People who live differently become labelled as strange and you don’t want to be strange. You want to be normal.
Thank you for your attention. Now go and buy things.
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